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not really to her liking.
Charlotte, have you asked women in your religious faith whether they have struggled against their preference to be in an equal relationship, in order to force themselves to conform to submitting to their husbands? How many have really done that? How many pretend to submit but really don't? How many who really have gone against their wishes are truly happy and feel good about it rather than feeling stifled?
I think what Louise is trying to point out is that once religion is the criterion then consent and choice go out the window. It's no longer a Taken in Hand relationship because that is one that is assumed to involve choice and consent. It's just imposed on every woman who follows that particular faith, like a cookie cutter or a procrustean bed.
No, life isn't easy, but a woman who would push herself into that cookie cutter against her true desires would not, in my view, be in a happy marriage and thereby deriving pleasure.
"Pat"
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 Feb 13 - 23:46 | reply to this comment
Re: If it doesn't give you pleasure, why do it?
"I find it very difficult to understand why any woman would want to regard her husband as being in charge if this did not give her pleasure, but perhaps it's a Puritanical thing. Maybe it's all right to defer to your husband as long as you don't enjoy it."
And there you have it. Who exactly decides or judges what is right and enjoyable for the two participants of a particular relationship? Them? Or you, because anything that isn't done the way you would do it has to be wrong?
Ros
by Ros on 2005 Feb 14 - 23:36 | reply to this comment
Compulsion and choice
Once you start suggesting that there is another reason for being in a Taken In Hand relationship other than personal satisfaction, you are, in my view, opening the door to abusive relationships. I have read on other sites of women who are stuck in relationships with violent, abusive men because they think that if they leave their husbands God will be angry with them. They think they have to put up with anything because it's their 'duty' to be submissive, whether they like it or not. Because it's what God wants. One of the things I like best about this site is that it
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